The Lakelandist: Ya’ll Get Me; You Really Get Me

The Lakelandist, the anonymous satirist who’s been entertaining us the last two weeks (Is that all it’s been?) asked LkldNow to share some of her/his findings about Lakelanders. Who was I to object, so here goes:

It’s been two weeks since I started The Lakelandist. In that time, I’ve learned more about Lakelanders than I have in all of my years haunting its various nooks and crannies. Through the power of social media and Google Analytics, here are some of the interesting foibles I’ve discovered about all of you.

1. Lakelanders (and Auburndalites and Bartownians, etc., etc.) get it. Apart from a very few bad eggs, all of the feedback I’ve received so far has been overwhelmingly positive. Even from the people who get poked fun at (I’m looking at you, Lakeland Ledger and Grace City Church).

2. Lakelanders are funny. I get tons of headline and article submissions every day, and most of them are pretty good! But please, people, leave the Poor Porker alone.

3. Lakelanders really like to laugh about:

  • Grady Judd
  • Cities that are not Lakeland
  • Hipsters

4. Lakelanders don’t like to laugh as much about:

  • Publix
  • Cities that are Lakeland

5. Just to reiterate, Lakelanders really like poking fun at Grady Judd. Those headlines are read and re-shared 10 times as much as any other headline. Sometimes, I am afraid that Grady Judd is going to swing in through my patio glass doors to exact his revenge for all of the snickering.

6. Lakelanders collectively have a case of the Mondays. For two weeks running, traffic on Mondays is almost 300 percent higher than the rest of the week combined. Get to work, you layabouts!

7. Lakelanders are generous. In addition to the many headline submissions and kind notes, I’ve also received several offers of monetary donations. That’s very sweet of you all, but it’s not necessary … I’ve made $1.40 in Google AdSense money.

8. Lakelanders are pretty respectful. The few people who have figured out who I am have promised to keep it quiet when I’ve asked them to. Thanks! (Editor’s note: I thought I figured it out. The Lakelandist tells me I didn’t. Guess I’m still in the game.)

9. Lakelanders are a discerning bunch. I’ve not had anyone re-post a Lakelandist headline thinking it was legitimate news; however, I have seen a lot of you posting that you wished it was real news. Me too. Me too.

10. Almost all of you do not want see to Neil Combee nude. Sorry, Neil.

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